Mother’s Day is just around the corner. If you’re anything like me this holiday always comes with mixed emotions. I feel joy when I get to spend time with my children, reminisce about their toddler days, and think about how they have grown. And then, something else overcomes me. Almost a hint of sadness as I realize that I will never get to be a new mom again.
A little back story …
Years ago I made the decision that I was done having children. Rather than having a major surgery, or continuing to take a pill every day I opted for the MyControl procedure. This permanent birth control gave me the peace of mind that I needed, without a single incision. {Side note: If you’re in a similar boat, come talk to me.}
Before my appointment I remember telling Kevin that I was a little sad. He turned to me and said, “well then let’s have another baby.” Ha! I responded with a hard NO. I was happy where we were at. I loved the three beautiful children we had already created. It wasn’t that I wanted to do it all over again.
The sadness is something else.
It’s realizing, and accepting my current stage of motherhood. Back in the day my kids were so dependent on me. They craved my attention. And, they adored me. Not to say they don’t love me now, but anyone with a teen knows. Well, it’s different.
As my kids continue to grow and become more independent there are some clear advantages. You know like sleeping through the night, having more time to yourself, and not having to change diapers all of the time. On the flip side, there’s nothing that can compare to the unconditional love of an infant. The moments you have with your partner in the midst of all of the chaos. The newness of it all.
Sometimes when I sit down and reflect on it all, that’s what I miss.
To my fellow moms out there, as we march towards Mother’s Day take a moment to honor all of the things that you are feeling. And, you? You deserve this day to reminisce on your motherhood journey. To be appreciated. And, maybe, maybe even be pampered.
Sending love to all of my ladies. Happy Mother’s Day.